This meeting is being recorded We'll get started in about 5 more minutes There are a

few more people uh they're still expecting so we'll just give them a few more minutes and um we'll

get started uh if they don't show up either way in about 2 minutes OK we

will get started and we'll let the people come in uh when they do So

before we get started with anything else I want to invite you to find a comfortable seat

If it feels available maybe closing your eyes And then bringing in some deep breaths into the

belly You can bring your hands on your belly just to feel the weight of each breath Taking your

time to grounding down Just finding that spaciousness in the body that lets you be comfortable

and full And from this place just bringing an attention as to why you're here Something about

this event this workshop Intrigued you And it probably had to do something with How you relate

Perhaps with your current lover Maybe one of your exes Maybe it's even with yourself As you

breathe in deeply into the belly my invitation is to think of a situation a scenario when You could

specifically identify how you reacted In one of your relationships again could be with your partner that you

have now with one of your exes Or maybe with your kids or just with yourself Like that

immediate feel of Whatever comes up for you in moments of disconnection When you feel

triggered activated And then if you can bring that visualization into your body just finding

some comfort and some care and some generosity for that version of you Some tender love

compassion Bringing in this understanding that the way you relate you learn that from people who you came from

so It doesn't say anything about you yourself But most of the patterns that You have raised them And

that's OK Another few minutes just in this Posture of Feeling full breath into the body Bringing some attention

to a time when you can specifically remember how you reacted in a moment of conflict Could be a

lover Could be a friend could be a child a parent To be yourself And

then holding that version of you with reverence and care And now beginning to bring some

ease back into the body letting go of this visualization letting go of this active breath

that you're bringing into the body And just let the body come back to its natural state of

breath Beginning to slowly come back to the call maybe opening your eyes in your own time

And then if you'd like you can turn your camera on There's Gavin it's been a while brother

wow From Nice OK we'll get started There's about 7 more people I'm expecting and

but there's at least 5 more people Um I'm hoping they'll just trickle in otherwise we'll have this uh

recording for them Um first of all thank you guys all for coming onto this thing I usually do

this in my one on one or group containers I haven't done a webinar before so this is

my first one and just yeah just feeling Grateful to be able to share this information with

with you all So the way we're gonna do this is we're gonna have a few pieces

So I have a slide they're gonna go through We're gonna do a little bit of introduction and intention

setting Um we're gonna talk about the structure of the webinar itself how we're gonna break this down into the

parts of the brain and then the stages of love where they come from how I'm synthesizing the

two concepts We'll have some space for Q&A and then we'll probably take a small break at some point and

then we'll come back out of that um and we'll drop into a meditation Just to kind

of feel in in our bodies the different stages of relating that we will have talked about by then

Um at any point if you have any questions um around any of these items themes feel free to

raise your hand um and we can dive into any any questions then Um if

there are no questions during the session itself we'll have time at the end for that So

with that said I would love to drop into an introduction and intention setting and to

keep it concise and tight Uh maybe just your name your location and your intentions for being here And

if there's anything extra that is not in on this list that you feel might be

helpful for you to be on the in this call fully present I invite you

to that in as well So maybe Gavin I'd love to hear from you and then we can go from

Gavin to Patrick to Jonathan Thank you I My name is Gavin I'm calling from Bluffton South Carolina And my

intention is solely to nourish my curiosity uh By spending more time with you-ish Now

I'm all in Thank you so much brother It's been a while since I've seen you so

it's really good to see your face Patrick would love to hear from you too Hey

yes and everybody good to be here Uh yeah partly out of curiosity I've been seeing some of your emails

so just curious what kind of magic you're doing in the world And then uh for myself personally

uh you know I've been out in the dating world so I thought hey some of what you're teaching here

could translate into You know connections that I'm forming And I I like to think that I'm a student

of communication and relationships so I'm always up for some new new learnings there some new

you know possibly hopefully some practical Additions to the toolbox Beautiful Patrick Yeah I know you do a lot

of similar work so I'm grateful to have you here Thank you Johnny Pleasure to be here Uh

yeah It was my birthday yesterday and I wanted to do a couple of Things

I'm out on Salt Spring Island so definitely Uh a harder place that I found to community

so to say and so it's like OK well what can I do to deepen my

experience and doing a lot of work on the internal space and work with uh the beloved So working

on that space within my myself so the my intention is uh to create A more

Foundational stronger rooted level of communication with Oh So I want I'm looking for the

same as Patrick and practical kind of things that I can play with that can help

me question myself help me deepen myself and really Break open that same curiosity as Gavin spoke

as well How how can I communicate more effectively and efficiently and Hopefully in every way with every aspect

of life every step of the way Thank you for sharing and happy belated birthday Uh yeah we'll share

some practical Theories as well as some actual embodiment practices we can do to bring in

some of these different higher evolve higher um ways of communicating with ourselves primarily but also

with you know in our intimate relationships anyone who we interact with Um I'll dive into a

little bit of who I am so you know who is here So my name is Ish Ish

Hassan Um I grew up in California and for most of my life I grew up undocumented And because of

that I grew up with a lot of fear a lot of uh inability to

speak my truth Um Uh in 2018 I moved to BC Canada with a woman I met in

Hawaii while I was traveling who ended up being my wife Um In 2021 we separated after

having a lot of lot of turmoil in our in our relationship We moved to Canada after being together for

about eight months She was from England I was in the States undocumented and Yeah moving to Canada

really brought up a lot of stuff for us and we just triggered each other

so much that um we separated a few times before officially making it official in 2021 Which led me to

a 2 year celibacy journey where I spent 2 years on my own um did a

lot of men's work did a lot of uh intentional Ways of relating with myself as

well as the people I was living with I lived in a lot of communal

um housing situation at the time in different parts of Canada and at that at

that point I also really really dove into the work of John Weinland and David Data So

I learned a lot from them around relating and like bringing in that masculine quality of firmness as

well as like a direction into connecting with the feminine I also Finally in my life connected with my

own inner feminine during that two year celibacy I finally like found what it means to find love

within myself so I could show up fully with the women I was and I was dating

seeing after that celibacy Besides my work with John David Amir Khalei who's another one of my mentors Vipasa

and Amazonian plant medicine have been my other allies So it's been a combination of men's

work that I started in 2017 uh Vipasa that I started in 2017 as well and Amazonian plant medicine Ayahuasca

Wahuma which I started in 2014 So all of that are still the tripod of who I am And

a lot of the work I do is around Coming back to ourselves so that we can show up more

fully for the people who we interact with either in relationships or either expressing um

our purpose in this life I've been doing men's sports since 2017 and I've been coaching

officially around relationships as well as purpose and shadow work since 2021 and 2022 So that's a little bit about

me As far as today we're gonna talk a lot about the three stages of

relating conscious relating and I'll kind of share a little bit of where these theories come from and how

they're being kind of synthesized in this workshop Uh the thing to keep in mind is

although this theory applies primarily to intimate relationships that's a framework that we'll be using it can be

used in any types of relationships pretty much it can be used in a parental child

relationship as well as platonic relationships um as well as relationships with ourselves But the framework that I'll be

using will be using examples from intimate connections And the other piece of information that might help

us as we move through this is noticing our pattern without holding a judgment against it So the

first meditation that we just did and we'll be doing a few more drop-ins like that that was just to

kind of notice how We think we we relate And then just like sitting in it without trying to

change it make anything mean about it just being with that itself Um OK so

from there let's dive right into it So there are 3 different levels and how they're working is

there's the piece around relating itself which is coming from the heart place and then there's the theme

around thinking in power which is coming from the the brain So there's this guy David Data

who's one of my mentors who talks about the three stages of love He talks about the

three stages of love as almost this stairway or Upward spiral that we can all move up to

And he talks about it primarily from an embodiment perspective like we can embody these different stages of love

especially when we're with our intimate partners There is this other concept which is called the trio brain which is

the three different parts of the brain And the way that I've been able to mesh the two

has been to kind of align the different stages of the heart with the different stages or

parts of the brain So the triune brain comes from it's like this principal theory from this

neuroscience scientist from the 1960s and there are a lot of thoughts about how it works There are

some questions around it but I found that there's A lot of validity into kind

of connecting the pieces of the brain into the pieces of the heart because we can bring a

little bit more rational ideas as to how to love uh especially being in the west

a lot of us are so heady so that bringing the head into how we operate

from the heart kind of helps us Embody these qualities a little bit more effectively So

what is level one Level one at its core is preservation So it's about survival it's about Protecting

ourselves and That part of the brain that is connected to is the brain stem It's the it's the

brain that we our ancestors have had This is the brain that has pretty much been with

us ever since our ancestors have been around Humankind has had this part of the brain active forever This is

called the reptilian brain This is also the oldest part of the brain It was developed fully about 250 million

years ago And this has been the brain part of the brain that's led our whole ancestors through

all of the life so we could be here Uh this is very instinctual It's all about survival and

it primarily focuses on the sympathetic nervous system And which is fight flight freeze It's

all about how can I protect myself how can I protect myself how can I protect

myself The question that goes with this level is what do I need to feel

safe and In relationships This happens in a lot of connections where people are just constantly

bickering and fighting at each other This is where the hearing drops and we become all about what did

whatever that person say mean about me And I I can bring some examples up for this just about 3

weeks ago me and my current partner were having a talk And I didn't take out the recycling like

I was supposed to just because I had a busy day and then she brought it up She just mentioned

that oh you didn't do this thing that you said you would do and da da

da As soon as she said that I had I just lost everything and I made it all about myself

I was like how dare you question me Like do you not know that I had this whole day to

myself like is he trying to make money trying to do all these things There

was no Connection to her It is all about me and trying to protect myself trying to you

know like Make her see that what I did was not my fault Like me not taking the

uh the recycling was fully because I had I had some other stuff and how

dare you question me Like it it's all about my own preservation Now it's less about preservation

of my body but it's more about the preservation of my ego slash heart Like how do

you how dare you question me And this is like the level that a lot of folks who haven't done

much relational work probably operate from because our system is so tight it's so vigilant all the

time that we're looking for threats and even our loved ones when they question us we sometimes feel

like we're under attack because That's the oldest part so that's the part that's activated first That is that part

that will get activated before any of the other parts get activated Now that I have kind of

like talked about this level one this preservation um of love or stage of love I'm

curious if any one of you have any ideas of how this relates to you or if you're seeing any

kind of like maybe parallel examples of oh shit yeah I've I've done this in my life And

I would love to hear some examples Gavin I see you nodding your head Yeah your example

was great It really helped me to realize as much as this is foundational um and it can be pretty

significant things It can also be really insignificant things too like um like a like My partner made a comment

about something that I Composed and it was just you know it's just the it's a survival of the ego

right It's the survival of my sense of self that is um at stake and uh

how funny it is when you look at it with a wider lens that you're like that doesn't

really matter But in that moment if you're just in that Preservation level it's so very much

like goes right to your heart or you like you feel it at a deep level even though it's

just such a simple maybe superficial Mm Yeah yeah Because again you know it's the oldest part it's gonna

get activated before anything else So it makes sense It could be such a trivial thing but anything that brain

is just looking to be activated because it's looking for really keeping us alive And now it's less about

that biological safety and more about the safety of the ego the heart um Yeah Thanks

for sharing Gavin Patrick Johnny um either one of you have any examples Sure This morning I

was at the doctor's office and just Uh talking about a medical condition and uh just hearing

the doctors start to talk about some possible solutions I felt like I was going right into survival

mode you know like oh even though it was a minor issue as an ingrown toenail so it's

not exactly life or death But there was a part of me that was starting to like panic a

little bit some of the solutions she was talking about and so uh I actually consciously sort

of brought myself back to A more sort of grounded place To have that conversation

and then the conversation went super well I had the presence of mind to just ask her well what are

all the different options and to review the pros and cons and so forth But I I did make uh

it did take a little bit of a conscious effort though to probably switch out of

level one preservation mode as you're sharing it here Yeah man thanks for thanks for sharing

that I had the email today for for one of my work clients and the

email started off with for my last email and I didn't even read the rest of

the email like I could immediately I immediately got triggered for your last email like

this person was expecting me to like have done something that she thinks I didn't do

and I was like getting into all the stories And it looking back now like logistically it makes no

sense to get upset over such a trivial thing but just those four words got me fired

up and I I was seeing red for about a minute before I'm like hold on like let's read

the rest of the email and see what it actually says Um so yeah it again you know

it's it's it's funny if you look at it and I see how quickly that part of the

brain Uh it's activated again trying to Uh keep us safe Cool Yeah yeah that's something that

I could add uh you know I've I've gone through so many different stages and

levels of life Uh it makes me kind of relate back I could go through so many stories

like for what I really hear you talking about The foundation of identity Right and when I was

younger I was More of the Like punch first ask later kind of mentality and it

was you know where we find those levels of safety in ourselves and that anger was was everything to

me for my whole time growing up and through my teens and And I went through some pretty dark spaces

and and uh Uh yeah More of um Uh like gang mentality and stuff like that and get

into some of those kind of areas and it took me a long time to get out of that

and to get that safety being anger and of being that fight instinct And going

through that same those same kind of Deepenings within myself I've really noticed how it's

gone from this energy of like holding my like from automatically expecting myself forward to be

like you're not stronger than me to being holding myself back to realizing that when I all of

a sudden get triggered into those survival I I'm more of a freeze person now And it's so funny

the dualities between the two and same thing just trying to find that space of where it's

like OK like you're safe and what's happening It's not about necessarily you and and

I went to uh Uh a session earlier today and he was talking about the qigong in life and

how to yield to somebody else isn't necessarily to push them away or to allow them to domineer

you in in the Qigong movement And to the side to allow their energy to continue on its path Well

you don't need to be in front of it You don't to be engaged in it and I think that's

where that survive it comes in of like OK I either need to fight it I need to run away

from it or I need to like freeze in the moment and not know what to do with it You

know so coming to that point I yeah I really appreciate What that brain's been designed to do and like

you said there to to help us survive in those levels and Getting from that Survival back into

the the evolutionary mindset of survival Yeah I think the word that you use that I

really like that I think kind of connects to this level is identity because if we survive our identity is

alive if we're dead then our identity is gone So this level is all about that

identity piece like making sure that you know there's something left after this thing and we can like survive through

it So if we go from identity like the next level is a little bit more evolved Level 2

becomes a little bit again so this is in the relational framework this is about compromise This

is where we are able to think a little past beyond our own initial survival mechanism

and think about the other person who's across from us who is possibly uh our most intimate person in this

life Um So the compromise brain so this is The part of the brain that is developed in

mammals This is the mammalian brain and it's uh it's a little bit newer but

again not that much newer It's uh fully developed about 150 million years ago the limbic brain So this

is the brain that is about emotions and about feeling This is the brain that is thinking of connection belonging

in community So for our ancestors Initially people lived in Solitude They lived in like immediate

small groups one or two people and then they begin to realize that they could

live in community and in community there's actually more safety Uh but the problem with community is you need to

start building something so you don't feel like you're a pariah you belong in the community This is where

we have this need for belonging need for connection So and we realized in connection when we feel connected we

feel safe So this is a little bit more evolved because now we're not just

operating off of the Survival brain it's more about how can I be in connection

because connection is even more safety I can be like tended to by others It's

not just all about me me me but it's about us us us The question for

this level is what do we need to stay in connection It's less about what do I

need for myself to feel alive to stay alive but what do we need you and

I or me and the people I'm with to stay in connection Um this is

beyond just the point of life when it's about survival but it's more about making certain compromises to be in

each other's life And it's called compromise because a lot of the work here is about

compromise Um and I'll share at the end a really really good tool to get

into this piece the compromise piece But yeah compromise looks like seeing the other person knowing

that it's not just about me but then there's another person who's having their own emotional experience

with whatever is happening the situation And I am grounded in my own body enough to be able to empathize

with them be able to see them to be able to see where they're coming from and ask them the

question of what is it that you need to feel safe What is it that I need to feel safe

and what is it that we both need to like feel like OK we're safe with each

other What do we need to feel safe with each other Um so this is where a

lot of communication comes in a lot of dialogue comes in This piece is the same example that I used

earlier about a few weeks ago of my partner telling me that I didn't take up the trash

and I got really upset Um it took me a few days to like work through that to like

get through my own fear of it like just not feeling like I was taking my word

And then once I was able to come to a more baseline state of my own understanding I called

her up we went on a date and I I told her that yeah I I know what I

did like I I take responsibility What do you need to share that you haven't

yet And then she was able to share a little bit of like what me not taking out the trash

meant for her So it became less of like attacking and defending but more of

like this back and forth ping pong of oh give me more information I couldn't take out

the trash because I was working 10 hours that day instead of 8 so I didn't have

time and now I feel like I let you down by not taking out the trash What did that evoke

in you And then she would tell me by me not taking out the trash she felt like

she couldn't depend on me So we like got a level deeper less about survival more about the underlying reasons

or feelings as to why we're feeling the certain things that we're feeling about a

week ago Just wanna check how this resonates with folks and if there's any kind of you

know example or resonance that you are feeling with your own body on an example

of level 2 Yeah brother go ahead I have a hunch that Uh There's something here about Giving away

My power in the way I Do this Um that has to do with you know

being too much pleaser you know being too concerned about uh keeping people happy with

me Um So I think and and I hear you how this is like at a healthy level

that's a give and take and it's more of a balance I feel like there's room here for me

to consider how I Um Kind of roll over and Uh you know Uh Act like

a submissive dog Another dog kind of a thing Kevin are you saying that when you look at

this level do you have the story of oh if I'm if if we're compromising then we're like

kind of almost rolling over for someone else What I think I what I think

I'm trying to say is to to reach I think my tendency To reach compromise sacrifices My own

Uh Preservation in a sense it kind of sacrifices some of the level one like I um

I don't Like I don't stand up for myself I end up um Yeah it's there's more to

explore Maybe this is not the exact moment to do so I just noticed about how this feels

when I consider how I do it that I think I'm just not very good at it that I give

away my power That's that's what I'm that's what I'm thinking Yeah no I think if I'm if I'm kind

of picking up what you're putting down I think I I resonate with that a little bit too

It it it there is a piece that I have had to kind of come around to

which is like sometimes it can feel emasculating I'm like oh shit I'm like letting

all of my needs go because of this other person and like how is 50/50 or am

I like letting 75% of me go to like a P75% of them Is it like where is that balance

And yeah that is very nuanced that is definitely very nuanced and I'm gonna share like a video

of drawn kind of playing out a way to Show how we can do it through a

proper structure but a compromise can definitely sometimes be at our own detriment but the overall

theme of this is this level is understanding that we have to let go of all that

we've been holding on to for dear life to make this connection work This is where couples come

together and they will go to therapy even if the guy doesn't want to go to therapy

or they'll like find pieces to work through to make the connection deeper knowing that they'll have to

sacrifice some aspects of their lives Like I have to stop traveling if I want to have

a baby with my current partner I'm like oh I'm like oh shit I gotta stop traveling you know all

the things that I wanna do But Compromise So some piece of that definitely plays into this I really

resonate with as well and I think That when You know when when you step from one state

into another though I always see like that everything is a compromise and there are parts that

we do compromise of the level one in order to be able to step into level 2 And I

think this would be the level where Oh Becomes Like critical Because in the first step kind of everything is

it like to me like when we're just resonating from preservation it's very similar to the um

Uh we call it uh the narcissistic brain right which all of us have And

it's a pri primordial part of growing in our brain evolution and being able to

step out of that now we're considering other but as soon as we consider other

it becomes so easy for that to be the main focus of our attention that

we all of a sudden forget self because now there is self and other right And

so coming back to that space of self Self love it's not just oh I need to acknowledge

this other person It's like I need to acknowledge this other person and I need

to acknowledge myself in order to make those things Right there's now 2 pendulums that I have

to balance It's not just balancing me and other Yeah Yeah Yeah I love if we are looking

at preservation as love for the self this is love for the other but not losing the

love for the self that we have developed How can we bring in love for others and put that on

top of the love for self but not replace it Would you think that like would you

agree with saying that as you start to grow love for the other that actually means that you need

to grow more love for the self in order to balance That space with the other or

would you see that otherwise I read this thing yesterday that I think really really kind of resonates and maybe

go through this piece And this is this comes from a poet maybe David White who talks about the love

It's not a craving Like we don't love someone out of a craving We love someone fully authentically

when we have So much love with ourselves it kind of like blossoms out and like starts to like pour

out for other people ideally Now we live in a society where love has become kind of

this like warped idea that you know it's it's almost a transactional thing and It's not

the proper definition of love Most of the time the way we interact with someone else We're with someone

else because of maybe like they're meeting some of some of our needs or we like them for a

specific thing that they're doing but we're not fully In love because we're full of love ourselves We're

almost trying to use someone else to fulfill some of some empty parts in our

own self And that to to your question I think as we start to love

someone like by by the time we're loving someone we have so much love that the love just kind of

pours out and the overflow is what someone's receiving And I know you mentioned some in the email about

You kind of being on this journey to like find your own beloved within yourself And from

my own experience like that once we are able to get to the part where we

have so much love and we began to like love this body this thing that

we are ourselves The person that we're trying to court is gonna feel that and they're gonna

feel that they're not there to like fulfill some of our own void but we are complete we feel complete

Not this journey obviously but there's a part of us that feels settled and there is like less

of that grasping for others to fulfill our own needs and to fulfill our own void Does that make

sense Sweet Um Patrick anything anything from you Now at the moment I'm just really curious to see what's next

what's level 3 Great OK let's uh let's dive into it So level 1 we

talked about survival We talked about this thing that we're doing for our own self-love to love ourselves

Level 2 we began to like make some compromises and we began to Do things for the love of

the other So now we have gone from love for the self to love for the other What does

the next stage if there is one how does that look like How is that different So level

what level 3 is is expansion So again we're back to the two people you and your person but

it's really not about you anymore and it's not about them anymore What happens is there's this

more of an expansive bubble where we become aware of what not what they need or

not what I need but what love capital LOVE of itself wants out of me And it's kind of

esoteric but The way this works is it uses the neocortex which is the most

Recent part of our brain that's been developed and Not a lot of the beings out there have access to

it This is the part of the brain that's helped us humans that where we have

gotten into technology strategizing visioning This is the part of the brain that is Designed for art

for creativity for long term thinking for Looking at different pictures and different possibilities I also attached to the

parasympathetic nervous system the one part of the nervous system that is for digestion for rest And this

part asks the question what would love do So we go from what do I need to feel

safe to what do we need to feel safe with each other to now what does

love want out of me And This part is tricky because we can't really go from

what do I need to survive to this We almost have to go from 1 to

example of this is That same situation that happened with me and my partner recycling I

didn't take it out I got upset then a few days later we went to a restaurant we talked

it out um and then we're staying in a different part of BC We came here for a

house sitting gig about a week ago We're here and there's a bunch of stuff

that we're taking care of pets recycling this big house and she made sheep Kind of brought up the same

situation She's like oh hey you said you're taking out the trash yesterday you didn't And

because I've been doing this for a little bit My brain immediately went again to like

that preservation mode but I didn't act on it I didn't like freeze I also didn't want to

like bring in the talk because last time we were talking and the talking was cool but it definitely

is very heady What I did was I just looked at her I just like grabbed her face

and brought it in closer and I'm like I just made a joke I'm like oh

do you want me to take you up with it Like you know like a trash

like kind of like jokingly can made a joke to just bring the whole tension down And

the reason why I did that was in the in the spur of the moment the thing

that I thought of was not what would I do or what would Lauren my partner want me to do

but what would love do And love just wants to always be in this kind of zone

of play humor fun And sometimes the same situation in the moment could look like What I did Sometimes maybe

it looks like me spanking her sometimes maybe it looks like I we're just like

me like being like oh baby I'm so sorry I fucked up again just like fully letting my ego

go and just dissolving into I don't know like Like a role play of a slave like you

know like playing a role Humor is a great way to bring in level 3 to any kind of relating

But we can't really force it It almost has to happen Spontaneously Being spontaneous is a great

way to like Listen to what Level 3 wants from us And I'll share some videos out after the

call where there will be examples of what Level 3 looks like in movies TV

shows um in other clips Level 3 is really really hard to like Get to without practicing

embodiment like without really practicing grounded breath practicing being attuned to the surroundings so a lot of like

qigong for example or even like tantric practices come in helpful because we're able to be more open to our

own senses and level 3 requires being open to those senses Um So I gave

you one example of what level 3 looks like Um another example I'm working with a client and His

partner was Getting mad She was telling him that he was not showing up fully as a father for their

son and he got defensive but then because we had been doing this work for

the last 7 months he was able to like break that Block that he's had for all

of the connection where he would either get defensive he would get defensive defensive defensive most of the

time to he got to a point where he was able to have a conversation but then he finally

reached a level 3 when he's like OK I don't what do you want me to do Like it

wasn't about I understand you this is what's happening It was less dialoguey and more about him setting the

structure He's like OK I'm gonna take care of their son Kiren for the next 2 days and

he bought her a ticket to go fly out to this casino that she's been going to

go to for a few months Like she's she's gonna to go to this thing

and he just surprised her with a ticket and he's like I got him you go

fast And then they've been zoom zooming every other night while she's out there and then

she told him how much he loved the surprise that he had planned out for

her Um so Level 3 requires some Risk taking Level 3 requires some boldness It requires some courage It

requires almost trusting that the relationship itself will stay the course It's not going to fall apart because

you took a risk And we can only get to that risk taking level In

our intimate relationship or even in a platonic relationship or with even with ourselves Once you have

set the foundation of level 2 which is that dialogue with ourselves I want to add

one more piece of level 3 when we're relating with ourselves like how does level

states I didn't travel I didn't see any countries I didn't really have a job I

didn't drive for most of my life Uh level so my most of my life was level one

survival survival survival blending in blending in Level 2 for me started being doing research

on what are the things I could do in this life being an undocumented immigrant in the states What

are my possibilities How could I get like a work paper or how could I get a job under the

table So starting to like do some research and like starting to like find ways through it And Level

actually needs people like me who have a background in tech who even though I'm undocumented there is this really

narrow pathway for some American undocumented Americans to join the US military and get citizenship that

way So for 4 years I was part of the US Army um working in cybersecurity and working in

intelligence and Me being an undocumented immigrant anyone who I talked to they would never imagine that

you know there's a path like that for someone like me But it's all about risk taking

and by doing that the risk that I had opened myself up to was potentially

my whole application getting getting denied and me getting deported or something else But risk

taking is a big part of level 3 You gotta just try something and Even if it doesn't land you

will learn from that So I'd love to know what is coming up for for any of you as

you hear of this level 3 which is kind of an esoteric concept out there but when it's practiced

it it has some Crazy crazy effects on our our intimate relationships Yeah I can

chime in Uh It's feeling like for me like accessing kind of like a higher level of consciousness Feels like

even talking about the neocortex it feels like a very right brain Uh more intuitive

more like in touch with the flow of life the flow of their relationship What's being like called forth in

the moment like Kind of beyond like needs but more More of a Kind of like super conscious or

kind of intuitive Like response to life that's What's coming up for me Yeah Patrick that's

beautifully put very very concise That's it It's like tuning into the flow of life itself flow

of love itself and higher consciousness right brain creativity creativity um and being spontaneous I

I think yeah you have it exactly on the top Thanks for sharing Gavin Johnny either one of

you have anything else to add Yeah um Couple things for me Uh There's always that voice

That I can choose to listen to And it's most of the time Um Well

sometimes it's a whisper sometimes it's not even audible sometimes it's normal volume but it's the

voice that uh speaks for this that's the voice of love that's the higher self that's the And sometimes I

I Well it's just it's just the uh The challenge to take that risk it it usually will Give you

some simple just do this Why don't you just do this And and even though that direction

might be Easy in theory in the moment if you're if I find myself uh falling back to level

risk Uh You know I'm not keeping score I'm pretty sure it always works out

Um I'm pretty sure I've never gotten myself into a deeper hole because I listen

to that voice Uh and then the second thing is that Lately I've been spending more time Uh with big

groups of kids Taking the lead with our jiu-jitsu gym teaching the kids class and the amount of free joyous

play Um That I see It Feels It's like it It's fuel for my own Allowing To expand

Mhm Be part of a bigger love With uh Less hesitation Less self judgment and self-criticism That's that's what I

want to share Yeah that's exactly it Like level 3 when we're in level 3 level 2 and level

do this you you might look like an idiot or if you do this how will it land

for your partner Like maybe she won't like it or he won't like it and then

you have fucked it up So we have to be so we have to have like a really clear

channel for level 3 to like flip through And as you said sometimes it's really a whisper It's

like when you're walking to the street and there's this and we're like you know open for love and there's

this beautiful woman that's walking by and we look at her and they look at us and

we're like oh like should I just but we don't But it's like love that's like

oh you know go talk to her That's like that's like love kind of like signaling

us but a lot of the times we're so like in our own body and we're

so in our own frazzled nervous system that we don't So that's like where the level one preservation level 2

compromise comes in compromise with society observation for myself but level 3 is what would love

do And that question Me and my partner we've been practicing and anytime we get into a tiff we

try to think of what would life do in this moment And usually if we just ask that question The

answer comes And sometimes it's so every time it is so different so unexpected what

love wants what we think love wants to do but then we do it and it will either land in

humor play fun or some beautiful like experience together So yeah I I love uh Woody shared Gavin

Yeah I got some of that I The way when I'm when every through everyone talking about

this really see it kind of like a Like a triangle more where there's the foundation I'm seeing it

like the first level is love the second level is lover and the third love The beloved And you have

this foundation where it's love and lover on the bottom that creates the foundation for

rising into that beloved And so like you said when you all of a sudden fall back

down you're either gonna fall into like love or lover kind of state of mind It goes with

the Uh yoga Nidra it's right where you're holding In in terms of duality you're holding Two opposites in either

hand and you can look at either of those And think about them identify them

with them but you can't think about both of them simultaneously until you step from the mind into

the state of awareness And then once you step it's like a Into that awareness

Now you're holding both As one Right it's the the non-duality And so that level 3 to me

really speaks of the non-duality of love And that break Yeah I love this visual

that you had of just kind of like pulling back and John John Wineland talks

about the back body like most of us are like always kind of like this hunch like you

know looking leaning uh but there's like this relaxation when you could just fall into

what you imagine as your back body and you're like and stuff like Leaping in or

like so like looking forward to something you just let that come to you receive So the way

that love happens is like that information is we receive it We're not Proactively doing anything all we're doing

is just like leaning back So that back body that back awareness is what opens

up again the parasympathetic nervous system where we can tap into what rested our higher consciousness is

telling us to do which is tapped into love So yeah I I love that

lover uh love lover beloved Nice man So I mean High level these are the three levels preservation compromise

expansion Now As far as moving to the next level again as I shared it doesn't we can't Go

from level 1 to level 3 because whoever we're with they're gonna just be thrown

off guard at what the fuck just happened Because level 1 we're like preservation safety safety safety survival

for myself for my own heart for my own love for my own ego Um level 3 is like opening

up to something so much greater than myself and there's a big jump to get from level 1

to level 3 So A lot of these ideas come from David Data John Weyland but the other

person to mention is uh Harvell Hendrix who's a relational counselor and he talks about this practice

called intentional dialogue which I'll share a video um With us after after this piece So

If we're doing this sequentially we have to go from level 1 to level 2 Level

think we're being called out And the best thing we can do at that point is not to

stroke the flame that's happening because we're probably seeing red we're probably feeling triggered we're just feeling All

this energy to like defend ourselves defend our name defend our ego The first thing

to do is just ground ourselves It's kind of like a practice that we did earlier just breathing into the

body like really feeling the breath that exists In my body Slowing down the breath

Finding connection to the earth knowing that we're safe There's no hyenas or there's no saber-toothed

tiger coming after us we're completely fine The mind is telling us oh this is A

moment to panic because you don't know if you're gonna survive but by grounding ourselves by having the

deep breath into the belly primarily and even to our groin area we can tell us

that we're safe Our root is safe And then from there we can begin to bring in the

other person who's across the aisle We can begin to embody a presence of love Once we feel

safe in this body with our own self we can begin to bring our attention to the

person who might have brought all these things up in us Um a very high-level practices Bringing up like noticing

that whatever they brought up for us is our own shadow So even finding gratitude for that wow you brought

up all these things Thank you But primarily the piece around empathizing Because realizing whatever they're sharing with us they're

probably also reacting from a place of level one They probably got triggered somehow by us doing or not

doing whatever we said or not doing they would do So they're they're probably also

in a little one reacting So our job if we realize that we have this

tool is how can we get to level 2 where we can start to empathize with them OK wow

I see you I can feel you There's a lot of tension there What can I

do to ease you Once we ease ourselves Empathizing empathizing empathizing Once we begin to empathize we can begin to

then slowly go up the the pyramid to like level 3 Because now we have

a story of what was happening for them and the more and more we hear them

with an open heart with us being grounded in our own body As being out

of our own mind and into like this person's life this person's story we began to like see

their story And the intentional dialogue is a great structure for that But once you've kind of gone back

and forth with that intentional dialogue a little bit we can maybe begin to humor

bring some humor some play some As Patrick said some right brain creativity like OK

something to like break that tension Like it's literally like an icebreaker like something will

break the tension that that person is holding on to But most of the time if we have this

tool we have to be the one to like model what it looks like from Level

this kind of work And when we go from level 2 to level 3 it goes from

interpersonal between two people to communal It's like me this person and also like the energy that's

around us We're tapping into something that's a little bit more cosmic So that's like the

whole arc from level 1 to level 3 and realizing that we can't just jump

from level 1 to level 3 but we have to work from level 1 to level

quite a lot is Level 3 is extremely difficult like it's extremely difficult to always be tapping

into the source of love and life especially in moments of conflict So Our goal should be to

be In level 2 as much as possible which is when we're triggered how can we ground

ourselves how can we bring the breath into our own body and how can we actually empathize with this

person So if we can be in level 2 as much as possible it gives us opportunities to access level

once in a while but level 3 living in level 3 also sometimes will Like erode polarity if we have

polarity between the masculine and the feminine Level 2 Helps us stay in that polarized area

where the masculine and the feminine are able to like talk to each other So

that's something to keep in mind Only when we are in level 2 we can build

that trust safety and connection that's what level 2 does to then touch level 3 where we

can take some risks be a little bit more spontaneous be a little bit more playful be a

little bit crass So that's the whole arc from level 1 to level 3 and before I share

anything about intentional dialogue or even like a guided practice for us to like embody what it looks like

when you're going from level 1 to level 2 to level 3 I'd love to see

if there's any any questions that anyone has or any thoughts Uh yeah so really appreciating the thoughtfulness of the

progression of the levels and some of the tools for this Uh something that's making me think about is

uh polyvagal theory and uh and I know you have sort of the sympathetic and the

parasympathetic states built into this and In poly bagel theory there's The ventral vagal which

is when we're really able to sort of deeply connect with other people and then

there's the more of the uh you know sympathetic states where we're more on alert and less connected here So

this almost builds parallel to sort of like progression of nervous state regulation Yeah Patrick so I've done like some

work with therapeutic yoga so I've learned some of these things around the Vegas Vegas theory and what

and I have like you worked with the vagus nerve and then this is like polarity world a

lot of this stuff And I think as I've spent the last I don't know at this 0.56 years kind

of like understanding these different pieces a lot of them have that same kind of base

understanding or base Theory fundamentals and then they kind of use their models to then share

that piece out it feels like because yeah like this is pretty connected to the ventral vaal

system 100% like especially level 3 that is all the parasympathetic nervous system which is when the vagus nervous

look like just rested and it's working really really well Um yeah so that's a great

point So there's a lot of parallel for sure in all of these different lines of thinking and also the

vagus nerve is connected to the spinal cord in the brain ultimately which is where

the neuroscience piece comes in around uh the three stages of love So David Data John Weiland they don't really

talk a lot about the brain connection they're primarily talking about from the polarity aspect as well

as like an intimate connection piece but then the Yeah polyvagal theory and the nervous

system and regulation connected to this is I think how I've been able to Match

up the two things that I have learned over the last 5-6 years Well Appreciate that insight be helpful

Cool um Kevin anything from you Johnny anything from you Sweet OK so I say we

take A 10 minute break we'll come back and then I will share a video of what an intentional dialogue

looks like which is really the big piece of Um practice that we can all take away that intentional dialogue

will help us understand exactly how to communicate from the level 2 perspective And then I'd

love to finish up with a guided meditation on how to embody that level 1 to level

a 10 minute break and we'll come back at 6:24 Pacific time 9:24 for you Gavin So I'm gonna share

a YouTube video Kevin maybe you can let me know if you can you can see the video now

yeah OK is the audio coming through Welcome to our latest episode of OK cool So it's about

a 7 minute video we'll watch it It'll give us a really good understanding of what intentional

dialogue slash imago dialogue looks like which again comes from this relational therapist Herbal Hendrix He's got a great book

called How to Get the Love That You Want And he wrote that with his wife Helen um Hendrix So

here's here's a video of their main tool Imago dialogue which John and David have

taken and Improvised a little bit but this will give us a gist of what it looks like Public displays

of connection We're here today to hear a frustration that would like to share with me and we're

going to use all of you and all of you as well um and we're going

to share within the context of the Imago dialogue so again you can see practice how you can talk about

a frustrating topic with each other without getting provoking reactivity and even possibly Maintaining connection So

Shlomo I'd like to share a frustration with you It's now a good time Yes So there was

a time that I was in a rush in the car maybe last week and I get into the car

ready to go had to be in an appointment and I was running late and I

had no gas And you were the one that used the car last and I was so upset I

mean I'm not angry right now cause I had time to get over it but at the

time I was really mad as you know You said that You had to use the car A

few weeks ago and you were late for an appointment and you got in the

car and The car was all empty and I had used the car at last You were really upset

with me that I had not filled it out and really not filled up and then

you're not angry right now cause you have time to get over it but you're

pretty angry as I know at the time Right I get you some more Uh

I just need you to think like if you just use the car and I'm gonna have

to use it next You know I can't have it back on empty And I know

you're usually very good about that So I guess that's why this time I was surprised So

Um you said that um You you need me to be if if I use

the car last And I leave it on empty you need me to fill it up I'm the

last one to use it because you know whoever needs to use it if you need to use it and

be somewhere that it's not on empty that the yellow light's not on And he said I'm

normally pretty good about it but this time I was not And I think what made

me even angrier is when I called you and I yelled at you for leaving me

with a car that was on empty was that you said is the yellow light

on And like I don't do that I don't wait for the yellow light to go on So

like That made me feel even angrier because I felt like you didn't care because in your mind

you're thinking well if the yellow light's not on I'll drive it till it drags on the

floor you know until I'm stopped on the side of the road but I don't do that

So what got you even angrier is when you called me and you told me that

I had left you on empty and I said what was the yellow light on And you said It

doesn't matter if If it's on empty you know you're not gonna wait like me

till till the yellow light's on until I'm like it's hobbling along the road but Is

what No I just don't want to get stuck on the side of the road You don't want

to get stuck on the side of the house No that's all Thank you Um so I heard you

say that the other day when I left the car and empty when you had used it you had

used it and be somewhere and you saw an empty you were very angry um

you were even more angry the fact that I had As to the light was on implying

that it was not a problem what I did If the light wasn't on Or like

it was an excuse or like casual It was like such a it was casual not such a big deal

Right like in your mind it was like not really a priority it was like a Like in my

mind if the light wasn't on then it was still kind of drive so it wasn't like a

a Yeah Something that I did wrong leave it I didn't leave with a yellow light on um So I'm

saying my own stuff Back into your world So you're really upset about that and you you

know you're worried about being kind of stuck on the side of the road Right So the summary

Well it makes sense because I did leave the car on empty and did not fill it up

and you did have to be somewhere Very little gas And I imagine that you're At least

at the time we're feeling angry And annoyed Is that what you're feeling Um I mean

my mom used to fill up her gas like if it even went slightly over the half a

tank mark So I'm not like that Um you know I just I just I

don't have a carefree attitude when it comes to like having to get places So it's already stressful to get

to places on time with everybody with the car with You know looking halfway decent so

Right I just like want these things to be like a priority So you're not your your mother used

to make sure like once it hits the halfway mark she'd fill it up you're not that uh Particular

but you do feel like There are enough other issues of getting places on time looking halfway decent

that you're worried about like you don't need to worry about After being able to get

there because the gas isn't If any more if you wanna share about this No Thank you thanks

for sharing And thanks for watching We have an exciting new report that's we're gonna be launching soon We

don't need that OK So I want to share this video instead of the one with John because that's

a little bit more polished and this is a little bit more Uncut but If you watch the

video you'll notice that they're trying to bring some humor into it so they're trying to do

some level 3 but it's really the communication back and forth that's happening and the the the guy the

man receiving what he's doing is he's doing 3 things He's mirroring back everything that she's saying word for

word as much as possible just making sure that he's capturing all of our pain points Then

once she's gotten through all of her stories he's able he he validates it He wants to

make sure that he didn't miss anything He he said a few times is there anything else Did

I miss anything So these are some of the key key phrases just making sure that he's

catching what he's picked up from her and if there's anything else that he might have

missed When he said if is there anything else she got a little bit more into her own past

her childhood stuff with her mom So that allows the other person to feel more invested to like share maybe

a deeper cut of what's happening So there's the mirroring word for word as much

as possible then the validating OK I see Any anything else And then empathizing where he says and this phrase

is actually quite helpful something about our own mind when we hear the word phrase this makes

sense Like something about that really is soothing to the human nervous system So he's like oh

that makes sense I can see why you feel this way da da da da da So

just those two things is really helpful in calming the other person down as well as the situation So

the three aspects of This intentional dialogue is again mirroring back as much as possible Validating making sure

that we didn't miss anything and then empathizing That makes sense I can see why you'd feel so

so so But we can only get to the point when We are both Present and grounded in your

own body which is where the level 1 to level 2 practice comes in of really being in the body

Bringing the breath in grounding down From there we can start to ask them these questions

OK can you share can you do an Imago dialogue And I'll share a script of what an Imago dialogue

could look like There's a script we can follow And then once you have done the Maga

dialogue that creates some possibility of play humor connection So that is the full arc of

a level 1 to level 3 and a lot of it is Conceptually quite easy but it takes

a lot of practice and our own embodied understanding of ourselves as well as our

partner to be able to like do it on a really really good basis Even that couple were kind of

you know a little bit Sometimes not perfect but it's not meant to be perfect it's just

a process So any questions on what the mega dialogue is like anything that we could

clarify there before um we do a practice of going in our own bodies from a level

That's it It's easy Cool friends OK Um do we feel comfortable to do a fifteen-minute meditation or so I

got I got one thing just to mention about it yeah Um it's probably like Just my own

State of mind but where They are completely responding like um uh Like the validation part I

really noticed how that part like frustration comes up in me It was also really here I

was like didn't really hear very well what was happening so it might have been it but Uh playing into

it as well but I noticed when it's like this constant repeat and it's like elongating the conversation instead

of it making it more simple and direct In my It feels um yeah it feels

like frustrating To like to lengthen out this conversation 10 times more but I don't

know in watching that video You could I could kind of see how they were like it was

raw but it almost seemed like they were acting a little bit and I'm like in

real If I all of a sudden said OK so you said this and this and this in

my past relationships you would there would often be the parts that were like no

I didn't say that This is what I said And there's this other kind of

like frustration that happens in the dialogue that comes out and I'm like oh man to go into

that type of dialogue already feeling the the experience and then have the frustration of OK

now we're gonna like repeat everything that you just said And then so you can feel validated and then

repeat everything I just and I'm just like oh my God I'm so glad I'm

not in a relationship right now Yeah Yeah I live on Salt Spring too you know so

I mean we have a lot of conscious people in our community and like I

lived in San Francisco so like nonviolent communication was a big thing that I got trained in

for a little bit and I have such a fucking resistance to it because it's it's it feels

quite robotic And now I like I'm in a circling group with one of my best

buddies in in in in Salt Spring and we do a lot of circling and there's a

lot of like these things that are a little bit clunky It feels like like

my personal opinion sometimes is like Oh why can't we just get to the matter

Like there's a lot of back and forth ping ponging So I fully understand it and I have also had

experiences with my past partner my ex-wife who I tried to do this thing with

and it was so clunky But I've done this now with my current partner In the front

in in the presence of like an intentional dialogue therapist they are like counselors who focus specifically

on this and what I've noticed is that first piece is so important like you gotta be grounded

in your own self in your own body and hopefully the other person is too

because if the other person isn't and you're like you're holding the the pose they could just vomit

all of their stuff because they're still operating from level one So ideally both people need to be on

the same level when we're interacting and you have to we have to have patience We have

to have like patience as well as grace realizing the other person's probably also not gonna do it right you

know Like you might be a little bit more trained in this than they are or they might be a

little bit more trained in this than you are But if this like and there's a script

for this but at some point the script kind of like falls away Same thing with like circling and

I've realized like now even though I still have like some like my own biases are on NBC

which is kind of like this but these are all like containers and like structures

but then we can modify it when we're really good kind of like when we master the pose we can

you know kind of modify it and find our own version of it That's how I've seen Imago dialogue

and Yeah the first key is that coming back to our own body our own breath our own embodied presence

knowing that we're gonna be with someone or we're holding them and that connection like being both of us

like together across like that couple for example we're like fairly close to each other So like

that is what builds the connection If you watch the video you'll notice that they by the end they get

like a little bit closer and we're just trying to do that where We're creating an opportunity for us to

come back closer to love and to each other and sometimes it's gonna look clunky but as long as we

feel like the other person is there holding us it allows the person who's sending the dialogue

a little bit more of a leeway to like fuck up possibly but the other person

keeps validating keeps validating keeps validating and sometimes they might not get the whole story we might not

get the whole thing Then the person feels like OK you've gotten about 75% of it

Here's what you miss here's that then we add that in So it's a lot of like active

listening with like an open heart I wanted to add a couple of things too

that uh Uh I think a key component is that Both parties Are Doing this they

they both parties are signed up for this right Like like if one person's doing the Imago and

the other person's Complaining about whatever and then they're just like why are you repeating what

I'm saying And and even so so my lived experience with it is um My partner will will say I

don't want Crisis Center Gavin and my uh a lot of my training um Had

to do with talking to suicidal callers For the National Suicide Prevention hotline and we

were trained in active listening and and so it's just paraphrasing and matching tone and energy and um

Yeah no I wasn't You know I did you know how many years of of

that volunteering and I got to be able to do it at a level that was like I wasn't

fully in it right Like I'm like almost robotic And so I realized when I was starting and it works

on these phones it stabilizes these callers And then when I'm employing it in like real life situations

and my partner's like Um I didn't call you Like you can't just paraphrase what I'm saying And

make it all better but like and she you know it wasn't an agreement that we

were gonna have on a Mago dialogue like the way they started they're like are you know do you are

you ready to um share and you know there's it's very intentional uh it's both

parties being willing to participate and knowing what they're doing And getting to their you know

settling the nervous system You're not doing this right in the middle of the heated moment right Maybe

you're taking a little time out and then circling back around and say let's talk in

I've realized its limitations uh by employing it when not everybody signed up to to do

it Or or to do it like too superficially Uh and not really like be empathizing be focused

on like the paraphrasing part without the feeling trying to feel what they're feeling part right

Yeah brother I think that piece about bringing the heart in and like making sure that we're

listening with the heart That's super important because otherwise I can just repeat quite easily but it's the heart piece

that's really important that's where the connection piece comes alive And I really love your example of

how it's not something we can employ right away It's that we we need to take that time to

again ground ourselves find our breath find our own connection to source the earth And then we go

to our lover or whoever we're going to have this thing with and we Get their consent that we

are doing it together Uh yeah with my ex for example I'm like oh I got this great tool

let's do this da da da She's like what the fuck you know but with my new woman

like I can showing some videos we have kind of done some stuff together and she's like

oh yeah this this is great So yeah it's definitely important to know that both parties want to do this

But we both also take the time to like come back to a state where we are a little

bit more grounded We're not in that fight flight freeze response because that's not gonna be

a good time to do this exercise Yeah I also I don't know if you guys noticed but

she was uh rubbing his leg at a point early on that was like a soothing physical connection I I

imagine just instinctually like I'm telling him some shit that I know was upsetting I'm gonna kind

of help him receive it And she and they were sitting so close to each other

she just did it so naturally Uh and she wouldn't do that if she were in level one and they

were in you know She was able to connect in that way which I'm sure was helpful for

him Yeah beautiful catch Yeah that's so important And just to mention on what you're saying there too I've With

my last partner we we were both uh quite intentional and a lot of our communications

and uh spaces Where we would often run into an issue with each other was we knew each

other so well been together for so many years that we knew how we worked with our clients before

and there would all of a sudden be this tension that would come in It's like OK

don't treat me like one of your clients And it was like you have these tools and just

like like you were saying like we we have these tools and we want to share them and we know

they work And when you're in a clinical kind of mentality like you've asked me for help I'm

going to help you There's that energy that can so easily creep And shit and it's like I'm not asking

for your help right now just stop trying to fix me you know and it's like

oh like major catchbacks in those kind of spaces Yeah asking for help that's huge

And in this situation with the Mago you're both in a sense you're both asking for help from

each other Like by both wanting to come together I want I want help from you I want help

from you right So it's mutual so it's that level too for sure Absolutely yeah Consent Mhm Great I

appreciate this conversation Um yeah I'd love to wrap this up with an embodied kind of experience

of what this could look like Now this is again we're kind of practicing something that we're

not gonna do in this exact order but this is just for us to have like somatic

understanding of what it feels like to go from level 1 to level 2 to then possibly

level 3 And for this if you have a partner um you can bring them to mind If you have

an ex you can bring them to mind or if it's something even something that you're working with yourself

you can you know bring yourself to mind Um I'll give you the prompts and like some of

these stories and the person you'll just have that person be the person that you choose Cool Sweet Um

and if you want for this piece and then after this we'll just come back and wrap up

and I'll share the like the next steps So you could go off camera and

just find a space to lie down or sit down comfortably Your eyes will will be closed

So just a place where you can listen to me but don't have to see me So

I'll give you all um a couple of minutes to get there OK so let's find a

comfortable space to lie down or sit down And the way we started this practice

this call we're gonna go back into that state again just finding some some support If you're lying down you'll

find some support on the floor that's beneath you And if you're sitting then you'll find some comfort some safety

and On the uh chair the cushion Or wherever you're sitting Let the body just

breathe the way it is There's no Need to change anything And right away I want you to

start envisioning a scenario In a moment of conflict Why you felt triggered Possibly this is in

the relationship that you're in now with your current partner Mhm Maybe it's with one of your exes Maybe it's

with a really close friend or maybe it's with yourself When your mind was telling you stories

that you didn't like An experience that feels quite vivid and if you could see it

if you could feel it if you could hear it You'd be there right away again

So using the senses available Just take yourself back to that situation once again And

notice what happens to your body Notice what happens to your breath Notice what happens to your face

You might notice your breath getting shorter Your body feeling tighter and saw your reflection Your head

feeling heavier And It's far in the east where your heart is peace when you enter

just a reminder My love is just a reminder And now really embody and exaggerate whatever you're feeling Any of

the qualities that you might be feeling from this experience of yours just try to make it 10% bigger

stronger More powerful We record that first morning sunlight at dawn and cracks on the floor it's So

familiar so Hopped in the car Drove to the mountains cows in the street Prayer be to

account and there was 5 years My love It's just a reminder I just And now from here begin to

slow down the breath Intentionally breathe out slowly through your mouth And breathe in through

your nose And intentionally push back with your body or with your feet against the floor that you're

on the As if you're letting the earth know that you want some support and you're here

And you will feel her pushing up against you when you know that you're OK that you're here My

love You can even bring your hands to your belly And as you have these deep inhales into the belly

filling up like a balloon and a deep exhale out through the mouth Some of these places of tension

might begin to dissolve And just keep breathing into the belly And keep pushing up against

the floor the earth You might get feedback From the earth And your body might just might

respond start to slow down and some of these tensions you had might begin to slowly just dissipate or

quiet down And if it doesn't you just might have to keep this practice alive a little bit longer for

yourself Very simple to bring a breath into the body intentionally A deep breath means We're beginning

to tap into the parasympathetic nervous system So we can intentionally go from the sympathetic fight flight

freeze to rest digest ease Ah For the next few exhales now through the mouth you can sigh out

Ah That should help drop the shoulders down into the back body which should help

us feel more connected And now from here Again bring this person back into your mind this person who Created

this experience for you in your body And just notice what do you see now now

that you have a slower breath A more rooted foundation to the earth So we're we're engaging the

root To find the footing we're engaging the diaphragm The belly for the breath and now engaging the

heart Finding a tether to this person Whether that's you Your current partner one of your past

lovers Not if the same experience same event has the same charge still Possible bringing some attention to them as

well as you know And imagining Whatever might have caused them to Bring up the

situation the way they did that triggered you And if there is room for some compassion for them

empathy Finally as you find that support again your own self with the breath with this the root to the

ground And with this connection to this other person now An action that feels like it

might help build This connection further As this person's in your mind your heart's open you're connected to

the earth there may be a message a sign an image something If there's still love maybe there's

something to do with this person or if it's maybe a message that it's time to let them

go Lovingly Or it might be something completely different that no one is thinking of Slowly beginning to untangle

from this image of this person Maybe relaxing the feet or your bum or your back whatever

part is in connection with the earth Softening the breath again connecting back to the rhythm

of the natural breath as it is Just bringing your hands over your body your chest Your belly

your legs your face just finding your own center Then slowly coming back to the

call just for a final wrap up A couple of minutes over time Gavin it's 10 p.m. I think

for you brother Um OK Thank you so much for your time I'm going to send out the

recording of this call as well as Um a couple of PDFs and the slides that we went over today

So you all will have all of that available to you I'll send that out in the

next 24 hours or so Um but before we officially wrap up I just want to see if

there are any final questions from anyone that I could potentially help answer Or any feedback

or thoughts even Thanks Patrick Thanks for coming I'll see you soon OK I think this is good We landed

here Thank you all for coming again I appreciate your time I think you Yeah brother

Good to see you You too Thanks Joy Yeah much gratitude for putting this together and

what you've offered Thanks brother Appreciate your time On the island Yeah I'll see you Peace I think

I think to be all Yeah you too